Week 10 EOC: Lawyer Jokes

http://www.funnyhumor.com

Q: Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?
A: To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.

Q: Did you hear about the group of terrorists that hijacked a plane full of lawyers?
A: They called down to ground control with their list of demands, threatening that if their demands weren't met, they would release one lawyer every hour.

Q: What do you call a lawyer with an I.Q. of 50?
A: Senator.
Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad?
A: "Your honor."

http://brainden.com/lawyer-jokes.htm

What do you call 5000 dead criminal defense lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start!

A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer.
"Can you tell me how much you charge?", said the client.
"Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $200 to answer three questions!"
"Well that's a bit steep, isn't it?"
"Yes it is", said the lawyer, "And what's your third question?"

A Lawyer will do anything to win a case, sometimes he will even tell the truth.

http://www.thehumorsource.com

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
His lips are moving.

Why do behavioral scientists prefer lawyers to rats for their experiments?
1) there are more of the lawyers to work with,
2) lawyers are more expendable,
3) lawyers do more harm to society than rats,
4) lab assistants are less likely to develop a bond or feel sympathy for lawyers,
5) rats arouse more feelings of compassion and humanity,
6) lawyers multiply faster,
7) rats have an innate right to life and liberty,
8) animal rights groups will not object to a lawyers  torture,
9) rats have more dignity, and
10) there are some things even a rat won’t do.

Why won’t sharks attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy.

If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of
them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?

If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don’t you swerve to hit him?
It might be your bicycle.

Why does California have so many lawyers and New Jersey have so many toxic waste
dumps?
New Jersey got to pick first.

http://www.manwalksintoajoke.com/lawyers

An incompetent attorney can delay a trial for months or years.
A competent attorney can delay one even longer.

How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?
Shoot him before he hits the water.

Lawyer: ‘Let me give you my honest opinion.’ Client: ‘No, no. I’m paying for professional advice.’

Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
 Insufficient sand.

Why don’t you see lawyers on the beach?
 Cats keep covering them with sand.

What’s the difference between a shame and a pity?
 If a busload of lawyers goes over a cliff and there are no survivors – that’s a pity. If there were any empty seats – that’s a shame.

Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and a drunk are in a bar when they spot a hundred pounds on the floor. Who gets it?
The drunk – the other three are mythological creatures.

Questions

One of the biggest concerns about me as a photographer is making sure that my work stays my work. I don’t want anyone to just randomly decide to take over my photography and pass it off as his or hers.  “A writer who can control, and profit from, artistic work will be inclined to produce more. If enforced oppressively, however, the copyright laws could stifle creativity by denying access to copyrighted work.” (Introduction to Business Law, Beatty Samuelson, p507). Concerning copyrights, I also need to know what the best course of action is when it comes to someone that violates my copyrights. “Online service providers (OSPs) are not liable for posting copyrighted material so long as they are unaware that the material is illegal and they remove it promptly after receiving notice that it violates copyright law.” (Introduction to Business Law, Beatty Samuelson, p509).

Another big concern of mine is the best way to structure my business. What are the true protections of an LLC? “Members are not personally liable for the debts of the company. They risk only their investment, as if they were shareholders of a corporation.” (Introduction to Business Law, Beatty Samuelson, p377) Are they hard or easy to set up compared to other forms of businesses? “In some cases, a court will 'pierce the veil' of a corporation and hold its shareholders personally liable for the debts of the business.” (Introduction to Business Law, Beatty Samuelson, p380)

And the final major concern of mine is basically how to handle model releases. I will more than likely not be working with many models, but when I do, I need to be informed on what potentially could happen if I am unable to procure a release from the model. I also wanted to know the ramifications of shooting an event, and when/where I would even need a model release form. 

1. If no model release is signed for a portrait session, and the client tells you a year later that they don’t want their photos used in your website anymore, do they have that right to dictate when/where their images can be used even though no model release form was signed?
2. Is it OK to photograph subjects at public events, such as festivals, parades, and rallies, then post them on an internet gallery for sale? I was thinking of taking photographs at a local festival, then selling them on my website. Is it OK to post photos on the net of people that anyone else could
3. Who owns the copyright if a client pays you to take the picture
4. Who owns the photo if my assistant/associate photographer takes the picture?
5. What does registering a copyright do for me?
6. If someone does sue me (or the LLC in this case) what could they get? If I distribute most if not all of the cash to myself during the course of the year, the business then really has no assets to get? Can they collect previously stated earnings?
7. Is my camera considered an "asset" of the business? I have a nice camera. However, I may use these cameras for personal use as well, but, is there a way to distinguish whether it is an "asset of the LLC" or a "personal" asset used in the business. I am just wondering if someone could take it in a lawsuit or something.
8. Is an LLC drastically more complicated to create than just a sole proprietorship? Are there any state reporting requirements other than filing?
9. Somebody infringed my copyright. What can I do?
10. What does a model release protect me from, and is it needed. 

Week 7 EOC: Progress towards finding a lawyer

With my background in computer technology, I have had the opportunity to pick up side jobs every now and then doing computer work, be it building, repairing, database work, and even web development. I left the industry basically because I was becoming bored with it, but I still enjoy doing computer work as long as it's not all the time. Several weeks ago, I picked up a quick afternoon job helping a friend of a friend with some networking issues. It turned out that her husband was a lawyer. The timing of this could not have been better, due to the final for this class. I talked to him about the upcoming project and he stated that he would be more than happy to help me out with my final project.

Week 9 EOC: Wall Street Journal Editorial

Just recently, Eric Holder, the current Attorney General of the Obama administration, stated that the U. S. will not enforce the federal marijuana laws in the states that have legalized the drug (WA, CO). He did add some stipulations to this, basically saying that if things got out of hand the feds would step in. “Justice warns that it will intervene if it discovers that marijuana is flowing to children or being trafficked to states where it is still illegal, though under federal law it is still illegal in all states “(link).  

One can find similarities in prohibition in the early part of the 1990s. Alcohol really wasn't that severe of a problem outside of the moral stance by many religious factions around the United States. Part of what it ended up doing was creating an easy building block for organized crime, and it also had the side effect of glamorizing alcohol. If we legalize pot, it will be much easier to regulate, and while it will still filter down into the younger age bracket, a lot of the glamor of the illicitness will be removed. "If we remove marijuana from the criminal market and have the market run by responsible business people that have an incentive to check IDs and not sell to minors, then we might see those rates drop again." (link)

Finally, I think something like this can be handled better at a state level, rather than at the federal level. As several political factions have stated, the amount of power at the federal level is way too strong as they have slowly been usurping the states powers over the years.

Amendment X
The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.